my stuff
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the first big weekend of the year
I have been having much more calm weekends since getting back from Thailand. House stuff, and the Poo Phase 2006 and all that kind of thing, and being skint, all of those things have put paid to my hedonism of late and I had to say by Friday night I was climbing the walls.
I sometimes get this feeling on a Friday (I’m hoping that you get this too so that I don’t sound demented), even if I’m not really doing anything at the weekend, by about 3pm this feeling starts in the pit of my stomach. It’s like tension mixed with excitement. Pent up energy I suppose. I have to release it otherwise I don’t know what will happen – maybe my head will blow off! Sometimes a late afternoon glass of wine and a 10 minute chat with someone does the trick.
Other times. It does not.
And Friday was one of those ‘sometimes it does not’ days. At finishing time, I pounced out of my office and into Bandito’s awaiting chariot. We went off to visit a friend to get some supplies for the party that we were going to on Saturday and ended up having a big chat with him and having a beer or 2 and generally chilling. He’s so hyper that my pent up feeling disappeared, thank god.
Then we nicked home to get changed and drop the supplies off (not the sort of supplies you want about your person of an evening) and then headed of to our friends for dinner. They’re really good mates of ours, a couple. The boy and Bandito are really close and as a result the girl and I are really close. She’s one of my more girlie friends and I like to spend time with them because they’re hilarious and the night is usually always fun. As imagined, it was a lovely night, and we chatted, chatted, chatted. They’d just been on holiday and had loads of really high strength vodka and so after the wine had been polished off we tucked into that.
Oh my god. It was like rocket fuel. One minute everything was normal, well – the music was getting louder and the chat was getting more ridiculous and silly and louder too probably and the next thing, well I can’t really remember what happened next. All I know is that the night ended in a bit of a frenzy. How do I say this? Well, okay here goes. I had a fairly highly charged sexual experience with my friend. My female friend.
I’m not going to go into any huge detail, but it was pretty mental. If you’ve been reading for a while you’ll know that with my group of friends we’re all a bit fruity from time to time, which is absolutely fine and fun mostly, with all of us taking a flirt, say, to a certain point but not beyond. And sometimes there’s kissing which is just drunken/drugged up nonsense. But from time to time the boundaries can get a bit fudgey and it becomes confusing.
I make us sound like a bunch of crazy drunken mad swingers. We’re not. I promise.
But anyway, yes. This kissing girls thing. Well, who knows where it’s come from but it’s there and I’ve kissed a couple of my friends but it’s always in a ‘let’s see what this is like’ rather than anything else, and it’s never really bothered me before. And I’m not confused about my sexuality in any way either – I’ve always felt that I’d fall in love with someone if they were the right person, not if they were the right sex and Bandito got there before any girl did so there’s never been an issue.
I told Bandito about it on Saturday morning and he just kind of laughed and said ‘ooh did you touch each other’s boobs?’ in a kind of mildly funny/mildly perverted way and I said no. And then I asked him why he thought it happened and did he think it meant more and we’re not letting ourselves think about it and all this kind of thing and he went ‘look stop analysing it – there’s nothing wrong with it, you’re friends, you were pissed, you’re all a bunch of lezzers when you’re pissed, it’s really not anything to worry about and anyway, I know you love me and you’re hardly going to dump me for her are you?’ And that was that.
I wasn’t sure how it was going to be on Saturday though when I saw them. I’m really glad I told Bandito because it kind of relieved me a bit and I texted the girl in question and said something along the lines of ‘whoops. We were a bit frisky last night’ and she said ‘whoops yes we were. I don’t feel too bad though do you?’ and I said ‘no. But I don’t think we need to repeat the experience do you?’ and she said ‘I agree completely!’ and so I kind of breathed a sigh of relief at that. I wonder if we were both a bit worried that the other one was going to say ‘I think I’m in love with you and I want to take it further’.
The party was a good one, with lots of lovely people we’ve not seen in ages and the couple who’s house we’d been to the night before came in and me and the girl just chatted away like normal. I’m so glad.
Ah deary me. Anyway. There’s much much more I could tell you about the weekend, but I’ve already told you far too much so I’m not going to. I might save it up for a deranged and debauched special.
So I think the reason I’ve posted that little tit bit there is to try to normalise it. Because I know that it’s not exactly normal wifey behaviour and I have to say it’s not something I make a habit of, so I have to just normalise it and get on with it. I’m sure on a parallel universe there’s me and that girl plotting leaving our husbands and having highly charged sexual encounters here there and everywhere, but I’m just going to let parallel universe Heeland Lass get on with it and I’ll stick to doing my housework and watching telly with my lovely Bandito.
Who, by the way, was totally lusted after by 3 different gay guys on Saturday night. I was a bit worried at one point when I overheard them plotting a 5 way with him and our other friend S.
Right. Before I make us sound even more like we’re perfect subject matter for Louis Theroux or jerry springer…I’m going home.
5:32 pm - 06 March 2006
