my stuff
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he's only got himself to blame
I think there must be a team of spammers somewhere in the world who sit down in a high security suite once a week and hold brain storming sessions. The ultimate aim being complete world domination, of course.
The most recent of these brainstorming sessions was obviously based on the philosophy that the more ridiculous the perceived senders name, the higher the success in getting people to buy v!agra shaped like visa cards and so on.
This is the ONLY way to explain the emails I’ve been getting recently from Maximillion Poovey, Guadalupe Donaldson, Rocky Lay, Solon Liang, Edith Dominguez, Abba Plaster (who’s parents are obviously besotted fans of the dancing kings and queens of Sweden) and last but by no means least, Philandering F. Degenerate (my own personal favourite).
Anyway. That’s all by the by.
It’s 1.25pm and Bandito and I are sitting on the sofa – he’s reading the newspaper and I’m doing this. It’s not a scene that you need to spend much time picturing. I’ve got the jitters – the result of hardly any sleep, a bottle of coke and it being a bit cold (it’s just been hail stoning. Or haling. Or hailsting or whatever you’d call it).
Last night, we were at a friends leaving party. Bandito was dj-ing, as were a few other friends and all in all it was a really good party. I wanted to go home straight after it finished (which was after 3am) but Bandito convinced me to go back to a friends house for (and I quote) ‘one quick spliff before heading home’.
One or two billion ‘quick’ spliffs later (this is an assumption as I conked out on the sofa about 20 minutes after arriving) and Bandito is still not in the mood for going home. I woke up at 7am on the sofa, in a stonker of a bad mood (I mean really, there’s nothing worse than waking up in the middle of a sleep only to find you’re not even on YOUR OWN sofa) and threw a strop until Bandito said ‘okay, let’s go home’.
This late night nonsense would have been absolutely fine, any other weekend – but this morning we had McDee’s dad coming round at 10am to start working on fitting our new kitchen, hence the reason for me wanting to go home after the party. So, Bandito had agreed that he would get up when Mr McDee arrived. And Mr McDee is a very prompt person. And now Bandito’s being a grumpy shite and claiming he’s ill and not feeling the best and that kind of thing. He keeps talking about going for a snooze and I hope he does – right at the point when Mr McDee starts drilling and banging.
Mwaa haaa haaa. Evil Heeland Lass.
So. In other news, this past week has been The Most Romantic Week Ever in my world. Well, not in the Heeland Lass household, but elsewhere. Why is this I hear you ask? Well – not one set of friends, but 2 sets of friends have just announced their engagement and I am chuffed to bits about both of them. Neither of the guys who got down on bended knees were the type to propose. I know this because as a married woman, lots of people speak to me about my decision to get married (as in ‘you’re WHAT?!!!’) and so I get to know lots of people’s views on marriage. And their views were always along the lines of why bother, we’ve bought a house/it’s just a bit of paper etc. etc. etc.
So hurrah. I am now going to be able to wear my fantastic, bought especially for weddings, new black dress not once, not twice but thrice in the next year. And it also means that I have 3 excuses to buy fantastic footwear and accessories. Tra la la
***SPROG UPDATE *** SPROG UPDATE *** SPROG UPDATE ***
So I had a ridiculous panic about having children the other day, didn’t I? I know I err on the side of drama, I just can’t help it. That particular day was a real hum dinger. And in fact, after I wrote about my fears, 2 friends of ours came over to stay with their baby and as the night wore on and the wine rampaged, they started bickering with each other. By the end of the night they’d had a full scale drunken argument about the fact that He never read any baby books or anything like that while She was pregnant and that He goes out to play poker too much during the week now the baby was here.
Me & Bandito kept kicking each other under the table and we both knew exactly what the other was thinking ‘oh fuck, this is embarrassing, but even worse – this could be us’.
By the morning, everything had calmed down and we all laughed about it (although to be honest, I fucking hate people arguing in front of me, it makes me feel really uncomfortable and I want to throw things at them) and it was all back to normal. I just couldn’t shift the feeling that something in their relationship must have changed. They never used to bicker like that.
I spoke to Her later on in the weekend and asked her about it (she knows that me & Bandito are on the cusp of starting a family) and I asked her about her feelings for Him now that babba was here. She told me that the relationship has changed. In some ways for the better and in some ways for the worse. She felt let down by Him because she never told him what her expectations were, so he was always getting it wrong because he didn’t know what she wanted. But the upshot is that now that they are 3, even with the changes, they wouldn’t change things for the world.
And so, I started to calm down. Yes our relationship will change, it will be pushed and pulled in all different directions and sometimes we’ll be able to deal with it and other times we won’t. We’re a strong team, me & Bandito. We’ve been through some really shit times together and come out fighting fit. I think we’ll be able to take on this challenge. If (like most of you advised) we stick together and keep communication open that is.
So – thank you very much for your emails and notes about the situation. I really did get heaps of great advice and it made me feel less moronic to know that it’s normal to be worrying like this. It’s a huge decision, a scary one at that. But what’s more scary is the thought that our life stays as it is and we don’t move in any direction. A life without children isn’t one I’ve ever really contemplated and so in my heart I know that what we’re doing is right. We’re both ready for a baby – even with the worries and concerns. I am really quite excited about what’s round the corner.
I’m not able to go on any adventures that take me round the world for years at a time, so I might as well have an adventure right here.
Right. I'm off for a wee nap. Mmm. Afternoon snoozing. The best kind.
2:18 pm - 08 April 2006
