my stuff
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a dilemma of the conundrum and kerfuffle variety
So… you now know - I’m up the duff. I’ve got a bun in the oven. I’m with child, expecting and preggers all at once.
I am still quite early on in the loooooong journey that is up the duff-hood, but I have decided to write about it here because if I don’t then it means I’m assuming it’s all going to go horribly wrong – which it might well do – and I am going to assuming that all is well until proven otherwise.
So – there are a few changes going on up here, down there and everywhere in between. I have not (touch wood) started feeling sick yet, nor have I turned into a cabbage brained fool (apart from throwing away our cordless home phone). Mainly, I’m quite tired and a bit tetchy. No change there then, as far as Bandito’s concerned. Oh yes and I’ve got sore boobs. But not agony boobs. I am waiting for it all to kick in really. I am only just about at 7 weeks so like I said, this is a loooooooooooooooooong journey and I’ve only really got in the car and clicked the fastening of the seat belt.
I was going to tell you about being a grumpy cow to Bandito last night but I can’t remember where it was going so I’ll have to shelf that one right now.
So much for not being a cabbage head!
Well. Things have been going well all around me. I’ve been really enjoying a more chilled out existence, although I have to admit to panicking like hell when I opened our calendar to October and had absolutely NOTHING written in it. Nothing at all. Not one plan is in place for October. God. Normally at this point in September I’d have every weekend booked out and every minute of the weekend with a few options in case something fell through.
I have been swithering whether to tell my boss about it though. Like I say, I’m at 7 weeks and my stupid bitch of a doctor told me to come back at 8 weeks to get my first proper appointment (to which I stuck two fingers up and changed surgeries), so I don’t really know too much about the processes ahead of me. What I do know is that I get my scan at about week 12 and that’s around the time that I should let my employer know.
Which is all very well and good. Up till yesterday I was actually looking forward to sitting down with her and telling her I am going to have a baby. She’s a good boss. She’d have been delighted for me.
This morning however, a meeting was called with all of us (there's only 8 of us in the company) and our boss told us that as much as we’re actually doing well as a company (good turnover, excellent relationships etc. etc) we’re structured badly and we’re a bit top heavy with too many staff on too high salaries for what we’re bringing in.
i. e – we’re not making a very good profit because our over heads (salaries) are too high.
So…one or two of us are going to be made redundant, most likely within the month. OUCH.
This is where you guys come in. I could really use your advice, and you’re really good at giving advice, so give it to me and give it to me good…
Here’s the deal:
Do I tell my boss I’m pregnant?
This can work 2 ways for me. Can you be arsed reading about this? I hope so. Here goes.
One of the things she said at the meeting was that she’d like to know what our plans were, if any of us were hoping to go travelling or were thinking of leaving or changing our plans in any way. Now my plans are going to change significantly:
I plan to go for as much of my maternity entitlement as possible. I’m due in May 2008 and I would probably finish up for maternity leave in April 08 for 9 months. That means I’d be going back to work in January 09 and hopefully only part time.
It means that in 7 months my salary wouldn’t really be an issue for my boss because of my maternity leave. Then it would be another 9 months before she’d have to think of paying for me again, but on a much reduced pay (3 days instead of 5).
If I was to tell her that I’m up the duff then maybe it would a) play on her conscience and keep me, b) let her see that I’m not going to be a financial problem for her much longer and c) well that’s it really.
I’m not legally required to tell anybody right now, I don’t think I have to tell my employer till I’m at week 13 or something, after the scan when I know everything’s okay.
If I tell her and she sacks me, it would be grounds to complain because I could say she has sacked me cos I’m up the duff and that’s illegal. However, if I don’t tell her now and tell her in 6 weeks time (after she’s got rid of someone else) then she might be unhappy with me for not mentioning it before – my changing situation might make it possible for someone to go down to a 4 day week or something.
With all that in mind, it could be that my job is completely safe. My salary is pretty low in comparison to some of the others and I don’t know if getting rid of me would make a huge dent in the ocean anyway. So if I announce I’m going part time then I don’t know if I’d actually be shooting myself in the foot. Ideally – I want to work full time and save as much money as I can until I am no longer able to get my gigantic stomach into the office.
Also, my job is unique compared to the others here. And nobody knows how to do it as well as I do (I know that sounds big headed but it’s true – everybody here has a role similar to each other and they’re all so busy they don’t understand what I do because I work hard to organise things for them, to make their projects go smoothly), so I am wondering if maybe I’m safe here.
But then if I’m safe here, it might not go down well in 6 weeks time that I have kept this information to myself.
Also – there's a meeting on Monday with just the staff where people are going to propose all of us go down to a 4 day week and propose that to our boss to see if that means we save all of us. If my job’s safe – I don’t want to go down to a 4 day week.
I had a quick chat with one of the associate directors at lunch time today (as it turns out, she’s up the duff too!) and she thinks that my job is safe, more safe than the others. Another girl I spoke to who used to work here (and who knows my boss fairly well as she’d been here for 6 years) and she thinks my job is safe too.
OH I DON’T KNOW.
The other thing to consider is that if I don’t say anything and I get made redundant then I would only get a month’s salary as a redundancy pay out and in order to be entitled to maternity leave, I need to have worked with an employer for 13 weeks. But what employer will take me on 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 weeks pregnant? I would have to say at the interview and if I didn’t and got a job and then told them, they’d sack me as it was something I should have informed them. It would mean I’d have to temp and that’s a big cut in salary with no commitment. I could work one week and not the next and then the next but not for the next 2 and so on. Ooh it’s horrible. And I don’t have any clothes that would be fit for office wear. I chucked it all out when I got this job cos I can wear jeans and trainers. But at least if I did temping I would be eligible for maternity pay. But it would be utter SHITE.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
What do you think is the best way to go? Would you say just now or wait and see what’s going to happen? What repercussions can you see in these scenarios that I’ve maybe not seen?
I’m going to give it over the weekend and have a chat with as many people as I can to get their perspectives on it. I am going to try not to stress out about it because Wee Bean doesn’t want stress right now, it wants me lying down and chilling out and sleeping and eating lovely food and listening to calming music and reading books and generally taking care of myself. Definitely not stressing…
Okay. That’s it. I can’t bear to write anymore about this situation just now, it’s doing my head in. I’d love to hear what your thoughts are.
And the worst thing of all is that I can’t even sink a bottle of wine tonight to forget all my troubles. Ginger beer is just NOT going to cut the mustard on this particular evening.
Sob.
2:53 pm - 14 September 2007
