my stuff
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fancy dress stress
Arrrghghghgghg.
I am really stressing out with this bloody fancy dress party. I am just shite at fancy dress – it used to be something I loved when I was younger and I probably would still love it now if people didn’t slap some kind of unworkable theme onto things like, oh I don’t know, things beginning with the letter X and you get electrocuted or publicly shamed if you come as the same thing as someone else, that kind of thing.
This party that I’m going to, well the theme originally (I thought) was American. I thought it was a bit odd that it could be anything randomly American but didn’t ask too many questions. Then it turned out that it wasn’t just America in general, it was hicks, hillbillies, yokels, white trash. I don’t know why, but it just is. I’m sure this is so that the hosts of the party can wear dungarees and checked shirts but really, for the rest of us this is such a bad look.
I have GORGEOUS friends (I’m not just saying that cos they’re my friends, they are actually properly gorgeous) who are also very creative (I’m not just saying that cos they’re my friends, they’re actually properly creative) and I know will somehow hash together some kind of beautiful ensemble that will sum up the whole essence of hillbilly life whilst still looking like the sorts of people other people want to leap on from a great height and do very sexy things to.
Me on the other hand? I’m not going to be able to carry that look off. At first I thought I’d go all out and just make a total tit of myself by going dressed as a hooters girl. I’m not sure how many people actually know how Hooters girls actually dress over here, and I’m NOT wearing that fucking awful shoe/sock/tights/shorts combo if it’s not going to immediately make people think ‘yeeehaaaaah’ (not least because my legs are waaaaay-haaaaaaay over there on the wrong side of slender). I have got the ahem, hooters for that look though, so then I thought why don’t I just wear a hooters vest and some tight jeans (yuck) and some white converse boots (okay I can do that) and then some kind of American garb on my head. So that’s what I’m doing.
Does that sound like white trash?! AAAaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh.
I have very little money (holidays, Christmas, bills to pay, Bandito’s birthday coming up) and I am seriously starting to freak out about it. I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with it. Maybe I should just forget about trying to look nice and go all out on the looking horrendo with the dungarees and toy shot gun.
Any ideas?
And yes, smed I will publish a photo if any of you lovely lot can help out. That’s a promise.
2:19 pm - 13 February 2007
