my stuff
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ah, the fun you can have with glue...
So, Bandito is off to Poland. Sob. He’s phoned me twice and texted me twice so I don’t feel so bad. I know he’s thinking about me, which is nice isn’t it?
Yesterday I narrowly avoided super-glueing my shoe to my middle finger. There was a tiny bit that needed sticking and I had to get up really close and I was concentrating in that way that makes your tongue stick out and your breathing go quite heavy and wheezy and I went to move my fingers away so I didn’t glue them and my middle finger wouldn’t move. I managed to peel the shoe from my finger just in time. I did take some black leather with me though so that had to be scraped off quick smart.
It seems that we have no real luck with super glue (although my glue experiment on the shoe did actually work and I can wear them again – hurrah).
When we were moving house we had to tidy out a cupboard in the kitchen that we never went into because it was full of crap. I scraped everything out of there, empty boxes of Tupperware with no lids, an old cat toy, chicken flavour cat toothpaste and, bizarrely, a lightbulb superglued to a hotwater bottle.
Bandito brought it out of the kitchen and for some reason I screamed with laughter. It was such a ridiculous sight – a lightbulb! stuck to a hotwater bottle! It really tickled me. I showed it to all my friends but nobody laughed as much as I did. It made me love it slightly less, I have to admit.
The best sticky situation of all though was the time that Bandito was sticking something (I don’t like the way glueing is spelled. It doesn’t seem right as ‘glueing’ or ‘gluing’ does it? Which is right? Please don’t let this be the only thing that drives you to comment however – share with me your gluey stories – although chicagojo, I know you won’t be able to resist!) and he absent mindedly shoved the little tube into his back pocket. He sat down to watch TV (fortunately he’d put a paper down because he’d been doing DIY so he was dirty).
A while later he stood up and the newspaper was stuck to his bum. He tried to pull the paper off but it was stuck fast. He then tried to get the glue tube out of his back pocket but that was stuck too. He tried to get his trousers off, but he’d glued his trousers to his pants. He tried to get his pants off, but he’d glued his pants to his bare bum.
It was funny as fuck. Much funnier than the lightbulb on hot water bottle.
Oh how we laughed.
Aye. Bet you’re really glad you tuned in today!
See, it’s things like the lightbulb/hot water bottle that makes me wish I had a digital camera. Does anybody have a digital camera they don’t want/need? Go on – donate it to me. You, too, could share in things that make me wet myself with laughter.
4:17 pm - 16 June 2006
