my stuff
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no i've not been kidnapped, i've just been trapped in hell
I’d love to be able to tell you many, many exciting things about what I’ve been up to recently but if I did tell you many, many exciting things I would be lying. And I am not a liar, so I’m going to have to bore you to tears with what I have been up to instead.
Hmm. Conundrum. What’s worse – being a boring bastard with nothing but tales of house hassles OR being an entertaining liar. Well, just not sure.
So. The kitchen is nearly finished (woohooo). I’ve been told it might be finished today, which means it’s taken over 4 weeks to do. I’m sure that everybody I talk to about this must think that I’ve got some kind of sprawling mansion style kitchen with pantries the size of football pitches and the likes. I really don’t. If you stood in my kitchen with your hands out and had a baseball bat in each hand you’d touch both walls. And if you put both hands up in the air and did a little jump, you’d touch the ceiling (depending on the ferocity of the jump you might even punch through the ceiling). And if you did a cartwheel in my kitchen you’d break both your legs off the work top and do your spine and head and other things lots of injuries too – so don’t do that for god’s sake.
Still. At least it’s done. And on Friday Bandito and I got very excited about getting the fridge freezer in the same room as we prepare it’s contents (the old kitchen was so badly laid out that the fridge freezer didn’t fit in there so we had to have it in a big cupboard in the hall). We shoved and shimmied and pushed and pulled and shunted and dunted and bumped and ground that beast from the hall into the kitchen and realised it wouldn’t fit in the fricking space we’d measured out for 2 reasons. 1) we hadn’t taken into account the little gas pipe that comes out of the floor in the corner where the fridge should go, leaving us 1cm too short. 2) we hadn’t taken into account that we’d need to take the bloody radiator off the wall to get the frigging fridge in the gap.
Long term readers will know that whenever Bandito & I are involved in any form of DIY (or DDIYGSETDI – don’t do it yourself, get someone else to do it) or home improvements, it usually ends up in some kind of catastrophic bungle and this is no exception.
Sigh. So now, in order to get the radiator off the wall and the pipe moved, we’re going to have to rip floors up and do god knows what. At least this way we can get a new boiler and stuff. Bloody hell. 2006 – year of the house.
Estimated cost of a new kitchen - £2000.00
Actual cost of a new kitchen - £4,550.00
Look of glee on our workmen’s faces
PRICELESS.
Bastards.
3:53 pm - 02 May 2006
