my stuff
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back with new plans
Hey. I’m back.
Had a nice week off – it was good to get some time with Bandito in the sunshine. We basically spent a whole week lying down, reading books, checking out each other’s tans, having sex, eating food, drinking wine, laughing at the awful British tourists (yes I’m aware that just being around other British tourists makes me a British tourist, but we’re different, we don’t buy the Sun and sit round the pool eating our burger kings, nor do we hunt out the restaurant that serves the best and cheapest English breakfast nor do we spend the day moaning about how the maids didn’t come to clean the room the day before, no we are a superior tourist to that lot) (yes I’m aware that I sound like a dreadful snob).
I’d be lying if I said it was all peaches and cream – I’m afraid that a cheap week in the Balearic Islands doesn’t a marriage a-fix, but things are on a more even keel between us now.
We had some ridiculous arguments on holiday, where we said some ridiculous things to each other, no point repeating them here cos you’d have no respect for either of us.
Anyway – the upshot is that we’re going to try harder to get on. Spend proper time together whenever we can, try not to lose the rag over the irrelevant. Bandito is going to give me some space and he’s going to stop being so sensitive:
Me: Why don’t you go out with your mates on Friday and let off a bit of steam
Him: Why are you always trying to get rid of me?
That kind of thing.
I’m going to stop being so harsh when he’s feeling sensitive:
Me: What the fuck? Can’t I suggest you have a night out with your mates without you going all mental about it? What is wrong with you?
That kind of thing.
I’m a real sweetie when I get going.
So…we’ll see. Let’s watch this space.
All I know is that (as I said in my last entry) I got married to Bandito to ensure that walking away from this one wasn’t an option. I love/loved him so much that if it was ever to be over I wanted it to be like having a vital organ wrenched from my body. I still feel that way – I’m not a fool, I know that what I have with Bandito is really amazing, really special. The grass always looks greener, but as we all know, it rarely is.
I don’t want to be Bandito’s ex-wife. We really had it working so well there for a good long while, there’s no reason we can’t get it all back and then some. To be perfectly honest, I think we’ve both got a bit too much time on our hands. I think a lot of it comes down to the baby thing (again. Sorry. Total snoozefest I know) in that we’re bored with our lifestyles and we’re rattling around trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. The problem is neither of us wants to go down the baby route while we’re getting on so badly.
Urgh.
It’s fucking complicated.
Anyway – I’m going to go and reply to some of your lovely notes, I’ve been a shite buddy recently.
So…Love ya!
Heeland Lass xxx
10:18 am - 13 September 2006
