my stuff
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oof indeed
Well, I’m sure you’re bursting to hear what I’ve been up to since I got on a wrong bus and joined a gym. It’s a fast paced life I live that’s for sure.
I suppose I really should update. And you did ask. It’s only polite.
I have become obsessed with a new lunchy type thing. I got the recipe off my friend yesterday, made it this morning, spent all morning waiting till lunchtime to eat it, ate it, talked about it constantly whilst eating it, smelled the tub quite a few times after I ate it and in the last few hours I’ve sniffed my fingers quite a few times (am I sounding demented? I am amn’t I?!) and had to physically restrain myself from going to the fridge and polishing tomorrow’s portion too.
Normally I’d figure that you wouldn’t give two shits what I made for my lunch today but then I thought, well if it’s so good that it makes me sniff my fingers (and we all know there’s only a few things that make you do that) then maybe it’s good enough to share.
It’s a pate type deal. Amazingly lovely on toasted pitta, or oatcakes or any kind of crackers. Or smeared all over your lovers body and licked off in haste (although it might be kind of stinky from your lovers perspective).
Get some smoked mackerel (see? Stinky)
Grill it with a wee spot of lemon juice
Let it cool
Break it into pieces and stick into a bowl
Lots of pepper and a bit of salt goes in there too
Juice 1 lemon, chuck it in
Then get some low fat cream cheese (garlic and herb is goooooood) and stick a wee blob in. It doesn’t have to be a lot as you really only want it for it’s binding qualities and the lemon juice makes it moist.
Stir, stir, mash, mash, mash.
Taste
Munch
***
Anyway, if you try it, tell me how you get on with it. And otherwise, just ignore me.
So. My weekend was a drunken old slag with ripped tights and a fag hanging out its mouth. I didn’t mean it to be like that, but it seemed that the God of Too Much Booze was looking down on me and decided I needed to spend most of my waking hours with a glass receptacle filled with alcohol.
Friday night, I took Bandito out on a hot date, which would have been a lot hotter if a) we weren’t old married bastards and b) we hadn’t had a stonker of a fight earlier in the day. Still, you get it where you can. We went for something to eat, had some wine and then finally went to see W@lk the L!ne. I really liked it. I really believed they loved each other. I forgot that it wasn’t J0hnny C@sh I was watching. I felt sorry for his wife. Really enjoyed it. I am going to see it again soon I think.
We went home, had some beer and then had a nice early night. But I was quite pissed somehow.
Saturday and the day had arrived to meet a very old friend of mine . I was really nervous for some reason but I was looking forward to it too. I learned a lot from it actually – about myself now and about myself when I was younger. And I must admit that was something I was really hoping for.
I was so starry eyed about this girl, really, I felt that I spent so long doting on her and really wanting a lot from her and thinking that there was something wrong with me because she didn’t ever seem to give me what I wanted and now I see that she wasn’t as emotionally strong as I thought she was. She was dealing with her insecurities and paranoia, just like I was, but she was 20 million times better at hiding it.
So, we had lots to catch up on. Some good stuff, bad stuff, sad stuff, surprising stuff and funny stuff. It was good to see her. Meeting with her has made me realise that I’m actually really healthy mentally. Which is kind of a shame because I spent so many years thinking I was a complete freak. Hmm.
She also brought loads of photos with her from our yoof and fucking hell, I look really young. I mean, I was really young, but I didn’t realise I looked that young. All sort of fresh faced and positive. And again, I felt kind of sad for my younger self because I was actually an attractive young girl and I spent a lot of my time being really nasty to myself and thinking I was fat and minging just because all of my other friends were tiny wee nyphettes. Really, I wish I’d enjoyed my teenage self a lot more.
Still. Live and learn I suppose.
After she left (we got really pissed) on the bus I staggered into a cab, stomped into the local chippie (if you’ve been paying attention to me at all you’ll realise that I’ve eaten from a chippie about thrice in the whole time I’ve been writing this journal. It’s not something I ever think about) and got a pizza for Bandito and a king rib supper for me (nothing king like or rib like about it either) and we sat on the sofa stuffing our faces. I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up a while later with a hideous thirst and a headache.
Good work.
Sunday we had a lazy morning in bed, then I had to do some work and then we took a long walk in the snow to our friends’ house for an afternoon of Monopoly and nice food. And far too much booze.
So that means that out of a whole weekend (Friday night till Sunday night) I spent 10 waking hours without a drink in my hand.
Oof.
3:45 pm - 14 March 2006
